NFL SUNDAY!

Another good Saturday sends us into Sunday with some momentum. Be sure to check back later for an additional late day play or two. 31-24-1 on the season means we are in the black!

TEXANS -2 AT RAVENS
JAGS +19.5 AT SEATTLE
COWBOYS -3.5 VS RAMS
FALCONS +2 AT MIAMI
LIONS PICK EM' AT REDSKINS

SATURDAY COLLEGE FOOTBALL

We are back and have a handful of locks to brighten up your fall weekend. The favorites will roll early today as evidenced by the card below. For better or for worse, we are back on the Iowa bandwagon and expect a relatively easy victory this afternoon. Good luck!

MINNESOTA -3.5 VS SAN JOSE STATE
ARKANSAS STATE -4.5 AT MEMPHIS
RUTGERS -2 VS ARKANSAS
USC -7 VS UTAH
IOWA -16.5 VS WESTERN MICHIGAN

NFL SUNDAY-9/15

Our first rough Saturday of the year leaves us at 28-22-1 and in search of a big recovery Sunday. We see the Manning Bowl coming right down to the wire and expect the Lions to flex their muscles again during a trip to the desert. The Bills will be live home dogs as host the Panthers while the Saints travel to Tampa to blow out the Bucs. Good luck!

DOLPHINS +3 AT COLTS
CHIEFS -3 VS COWBOYS
SEAHAWKS -2.5 VS 49ERS
LIONS -2 AT CARDINALS
BILLS +3.5 VS PANTHERS
SAINTS -4 AT BUCS
GIANTS +4.5 VS BRONCOS

SATURDAY'S COLLEGE ACTION-9/14

Good morning degenerates! We've got a full card on this early fall Saturday and intent to build on our hot start to the season. We're huge fans of the Big Ten today as there are 3 teams from that conference we see taking care of business. The exception is Wisconsin who travels out west to face a severely undervalued Arizona State team. In this week's game of the century, we project Bama will not only cover the 8 but also take A&M behind the woodshed. Good luck!

BOWLING GREEN ML (+120) AT INDIANA
ILLINOIS +10 VS WASHINGTON
ALABAMA -8 AT TEXAS A&M
NEBRASKA -3.5 VS UCLA
KENTUCKY +15.5 VS LOUISVILLE
IOWA -2.5 AT IOWA STATE
ARIZONA STATE -4.5 VS WISCONSIN

MR. THURSDAY NIGHT-9/12

25-17 on the season as we enter our favorite night of the week. We are leaning towards the home teams tonight as Texas Tech and the New England Patriots host challenging visitors. TCU's Casey Pachall is out this evening so that coupled with the home field advantage gives the Red Raiders a big cover. The Patriots/Jets game will not be pretty however we don't think the Jets have enough offensive firepower to stay within this number. Look for something along the lines of 24-10 New England. Good luck!

TEXAS TECH +3 VS TCU
NEW ENGLAND -11.5 VS NEW YORK JETS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Yet another winning day gets us up to 24-16 on the season, an impressive 60%! We've got two Monday Night Football games this evening as Philadelphia and Washington square off while San Diego entertains Houston. We like both road teams to cover the number tonight as Chip Kelly unveils his new Eagles offense and the Texans batter around a weak Chargers squad.

PHILADELPHIA +4 AT WASHINGTON
HOUSTON -6 AT SAN DIEGO

NFL SUNDAY

A late Saturday 3 game win streak gives us yet another winning day and shoots us into NFL Sunday with some momentum. The season record currently stands at an impressive 20-13. Today we like the points in what should be an excellent match-up in San Francisco as the Packers clash with the 49ers. We've placed two wagers against bad teams, the Jets and the Jags who figure to be in the bottom 3 of the league in 2013. The Pittsburgh offense will sputter to put up enough points to cover that large number and Sean Peyton's return launches the Saints into an opening week victory over Atlanta. Good luck!

GREEN BAY PACKERS +5 AT SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS
TENNESSEE TITANS +7 AT PITTSBURGH STEELERS
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS -3 VS ATLANTA FALCONS
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS -4.5 AT JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS -4.5 AT NEW YORK JETS
CARDINALS/RAMS UNDER 41.5
DALLAS COWBOYS -3.5 VS NEW YORK GIANTS

SATURDAY'S LOCKS

A nice win by Boston College gets us to 15-9 on the season. There is a lot to like about today's card as we've got winners all over the board. Several early games have caught our eye including USF at Michigan State. USF is not a good football team but their defense is decent and we don't think Michigan State's offense is good enough to put up enough points to cover that large number. Later in the day, we see a banged up Georgia squad reeling from last week's loss looking to be in major trouble as the Gamecocks come calling. At night, we've paired Indiana and Arizona to cover 12.5 numbers against far weaker opponents. Good luck tonight and be sure to check back tomorrow for our first NFL Sunday!

IOWA -24.5 VS MISSOURI STATE
MIAMI +3.5 VS FLORIDA
SOUTH FLORIDA +23.5 AT MICHIGAN STATE
CINCINNATI -9.5 AT ILLINOIS
MICHIGAN -4.5 VS NOTRE DAME
SOUTH CAROLINA +3.5 AT GEORGIA
INDIANA -12.5 VS NAVY
ARIZONA -12.5 AT UNLV
WASHINGTON STATE +16 AT USC

DRAFT REVIEW-HARRY TIMBERCRANK

3 special guest GMs combined to write this review!

The Who – Chandler, AZ resident via Cedar Falls via Royal Oaks. University of Iowa graduate. Degenerate, Dictator/Tyrant of Fantasy Sports, Lover of Canada, hockey, IPA’s, Hippy Extra-Curriculars and Speed Metal. Has more PTO days than the rest of the league combined. Has a Father in Law, but is not married.

Best Value Pick – Jason Witten ($7) – Witten may not score many touchdowns but will be the best TE in the game from 20 yard line to 20 yard line. Given this is a PPR league, and his homoerotic relationship with his QB. that’s a recipe for success.

Worst Value Pick – Reggie Bush ($39) – Being a homer is one thing, but Harry put things on a whole new level with this purchase. Like Reggie’s big butt X girlfriend, Harry may get pee on his face for this purchase. Yes, Reggie may catch a boatload of balls but his lack of TD’s from the RB position is horribly concerning.

Sleeper Pick – Ryan Broyles($1) – As the NCAA record holder for receptions, Broyles has already proved he is a very good WR. An unfortunate knee injury late in his college career took this once coveted WR off a lot of people’s radar. He appears to finally be healthy and ready to contribute. Now, if Matthew Stafford can take his eyes off of #81, Broyles could emerge as a legit #2 and a legit fantasy option.


Draft Grade - It’s not a good sign when you look at a team and struggle to come up with their Best Value and Sleeper Picks but have numerous candidates for Worst Value Pick. The fact that Kaepernick has no one to throw to, Ridley may be sharing red zone touches and nearly 20% of your budget was spent on Reggie Bush, this GM is in trouble. The receiving duo of Thomas and Jones is as good as it gets but may not be enough. The one saving grace could come if his handcuff selections of Fred Jackson and Kendall Hunter work out but relying on injuries isn’t exactly a recipe for success. C-

FRIDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Peyton Manning and the Broncos rolled the Ravens last night giving Mr. Thursday Night yet another win on the early season. We currently stand at 14-9 with one college play on tap this evening. Wake Forest travels to Boston College in what is surely a match-up of two awful football teams. We do however see a good opportunity to pounce on a weak number. Neither team was tested last week while facing low level FCS and below squads. Good luck tonight and be sure to check back tomorrow for a huge Saturday card!

BOSTON COLLEGE -3 VS WAKE FOREST

DRAFT REVIEW-PIMPHANDSTRONG

The Who-Born and raised in Iowa, mayor of Reinbeck, IA. Grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, father of two beautiful little girls, boxer. The best fielding slow pitch softball pitcher in the Midwest from 1999-2001.

Best Value Pick-James Jones ($5)-With Greg Jennings off to Minnesota, Jones will move into the #2 slot in Green Bay. In that position he’ll hold more value than a home security alarm system in North Cedar. Last season as the #3 he racked up a whopping 14 receiving touchdowns.

Worst Value Pick-Alfred Morris ($48)-With RG III less of a running threat this year, Morris will get far more attention from defenses than he received in 2012. While I expect Morris to decent numbers this season, the yardage and touchdown totals will drop. $48 is just too high for a RB likely to finish outside the top 10 at his position.

Sleeper Pick- Brandon Myers ($1)-Myers was a top 10 tight end last year and that was with a cluster fuck of Raiders quarterbacks attempting to throw him the ball. Now with the Giants, Myers will be a primary target for Eli Manning.

Draft Grade-Pimphandstrong landed 4 high dollar players during the auction in Peyton Manning, Dez Bryant, Alfred Morris and LeSean McCoy. 10 of the 16 players on this roster were purchased for $1. Surprisingly, the rest of the roster looks pretty good outside a possible lack of depth at wide receiver. If Pimphand can stay relatively injury free, he’ll be in the mix come playoff time. B+

DRAFT REVIEW-FORTEOUNCEMALTLIQOUR

The Who-Omaha via Washington DC via Iowa. Owner of the greatest golf shot I have ever seen in person. Also a new father, below average PS3 College Football gamer, former Capitals season ticket holder.

Best Value Pick-Lamar Miller ($8) - Miller is an emerging star on an improving Dolphins squad. Do not be surprised to see him finish in the top 10 in the NFL in rushing. Honorable mention to the $3 Stevie Johnson addition. Johnson will be E.J. Manuel’s favorite target in 2013.

Worst Value Pick-Matt Forte ($43) – A steep price to pay for a declining, aging running back. Given the team name I suppose Forteouncemaltliqour had no choice but this is similar to paying top dollar for the largest woman at the Spearmint Rhino. Sure it was once an attractive option but the best days have long since passed.

Sleeper Pick-Giovani Bernard ($6)- Bernard will be the starter in Cincinnati by week 4 and has shown great promise in the preseason. He was very productive at North Carolina and the Bengals think the production will continue in the AFC North. This may turn out to be one of the biggest steals in the League of Champions this season.

Draft Grade-This general manager had an outstanding draft in regards to running backs and wide receivers. Those two units are unmatched in the league. However, it became quite apparent at some point the Boone’s Farm took over as he completely ignored quarterback and tight end. Forteouncemaltliqour only took one of each and both are outside the top 15 of their positions. Relying on Michael Vick and Coby Fleener for consistent production is the very reason Police Chief Grady coined the phrase “desperation is a stinky cologne” in Super Troopers. C

MR. THURSDAY NIGHT

It's our favorite day of the week once again and we've got NFL action as Baltimore travels to Denver for an AFC playoff rematch. Many of the faces have changed since last year however as Denver will be without Champ Bailey, Von Miller and Elvis Duberville while Baltimore will be missing Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Anquan Boldin among others. The number on this game is Denver -7.5 which on the surface indicates the true value would be with Baltimore. However we all know what happened last year and think the Broncos will do everything in their power to ensure this is not a one score game late. We see Denver getting their revenge and kick starting what should be an interesting season in the Mile High City. On the college grid iron, just two games, neither of which are of any interest (Florida Atlantic at East Carloina/Sacramento State at Arizona State). After Monday's loss, Mr. Thursday Night currently stands at 13-9 on the young season. Good luck!

DENVER BRONCOS -7.5 VS BALTIMORE RAVENS

DRAFT REVIEW-THE ONES WHO KNOCK

The Who-Florida native currently living outside of Washington DC. Tampa Bay Rays diehard, graduate of the University of Iowa and Vanderbilt, reckless go cart driver. Real life Saul Goodman.

Best value pick-Eric Decker ($5)-Decker caught 13 touchdowns last year and the fact that he went for 5 bucks is more of an indictment of the incompetence of this league than a savvy move by The One Who Knocks. Regardless, this was a steal of the Better Call Saul variety.

Worst value pick-Aaron Rodgers ($43)-Anytime the biggest asshole in the NFL goes for over 40 bucks, questions must be raised. Yes, Rodgers will produce good numbers once again but quarterback is too deep to spend that kind of money on Rodgers. This price is softer than a late game Commodore defense.

Sleeper pick-Miles Austin ($3)-Austin is a household name however many have written him off as a significant fantasy contributor. Dallas is going to throw, throw, throw this fall, Austin is still only 29 years old and will face many single coverages with Dez Bryant commanding the bulk of the attention on the other side.

Draft grade-The One Who Knocks appears to have gone with the “stars and scrubs” strategy as he only spent double digit dollars on three players (Peterson, Foster, Rodgers). On paper however it looks as though he has assembled more than just scrubs with his low dollar bids. Vernon Davis is a solid option at TE and Mike Wallace could prosper in Miami. This is a well-round team with no significant holes. A-

DRAFT REVIEW-CUCKOO 4 KEKUA MUFFS

The Who-Iowan, Northern Iowa graduate, Panther homer, hates doing the dishes. Light hitting utility infielder, Woody Harrelson clone, has proven that white men can indeed jump.

Best value pick-Dwayne Bowe ($13)-With Matt Cassel gone and Alex Smith in, Bowe has a competent NFL quarterback throwing to him for the first time in over three years. Somewhere Over Dwayne Bowe will emerge once again as a top ten fantasy pass catcher.

Worst value pick-Frank Gore ($26) and Eddie Lacy ($17)-Bids like these are where fantasy seasons are lost. Gore is on the wrong
Worst value pickside of 30 while Lacy will have trouble finding 10 carries per game. Spending over 20% of your budget on two players who may not even be their teams starter by week 4 will come back to haunt this disgruntled general manager.

Sleeper pick-Kenbrell Thompkins ($1)-Thompkins is penciled in to start for New England in the spot opened up by the departure of Brandon Lloyd. After a huge preseason, it is surprising Thompkins went so cheap in the auction draft.

Draft grade-Getting Russell Wilson cheap really opened up the budget for Cuckoo. Unfortunately, the additional funds were not spent wisely as we see major holes at RB and TE. The wide receiver trio of Bowe, A.J. Green and Vincent Jackson might be unmatched in the league of Champions. Moving some of the WR depth for a back or two would go a long way in getting this GM out of his consolation bracket home and into the winners circle. C

DRAFT REVIEW-ROSIE PALMER

The Who-Phoenix via Northern Minnesota. Fan of nautical fires and hefeweizens, Visual Walter White clone and democrat. Burned his Viking braids after Gary Anderson’s fateful miss in 1998.

Best Value Pick-Reggie Wayne ($13)-Wayne had a tremendous bounce back year in 2012 and $13 is a cheap price for someone who will likely be a top 20 wide out. Wayne will fall off the cliff at some point but it won’t be this fall.

Worst Value Pick-Steven Jackson ($40)-After playing in previous leagues with this GM, at this point I am 100% convinced Rosie Palmer wants to make sweet man love to Steven Jackson. Paying $40 for this aging, injury prone running back is more embarrassing than the Obama presidency.

Sleeper Pick-Danny Amendola ($10)-Everyone knows the name and 10 bucks is a lot to play for a sleeper but I think the real surprise here will come when Amendola replicates Wes Welker’s New England production. 100 catches is a great asset to have in a PPR league.

Draft Grade-The quarterback position should be in good shape with the reliable Drew Brees and Matthew Stafford poised for a big year. The group of wide outs is deep and gifted led by Larry Fitzgerald. Running back appears to be a major hole with Jackson, Murray and Jonathan Stewart the only 3 backs on the roster. This GM would be wise to move one of the QBs and a WR for some help at RB to help balance out this flawed roster. C

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

We've got some Monday Night Football of the college variety this evening as Florida State takes on Pittsburgh. Mr. Thursday Night went 1-1 yesterday to move his season record to 13-8. Pittsburgh's first ACC tilt is a tough one as the stingy FSU defense returns many of it's starters. On the offensive side of the ball, the Seminoles are young which leads us to believe this is going to be a low scoring affair. Also factoring into our decision is the chance of rainfall in the Pittsburgh area tonight. We are going to stay away from a side tonight and go with an over/under play. Stay tuned this week as NFL kickoff is on Thursday and we've identified an early stone cold, lead pipe lock. Good luck!

FLORIDA STATE/PITTSBURGH UNDER 47.5

DRAFT REVIEW-VON URINE SPILLERS

The Who-Iowa resident, University of Northern Iowa graduate. Scratch golfer, Panther Lounge lover, new father. Does not hesitate to place 4 team Missouri Valley parlays.

Best Value-DeAngelo Williams ($5)-With Jonathan Stewart on the shelf again, Williams has the job to himself. While many past Williams’s owners have referred to him as DeAngela, you really can’t go wrong for 5 bucks. Honorable mention here to TY Hilton for 3 dollars, Hilton may very well be a top 15 fantasy WR this fall.

Worst Value-Brandon Marshall ($41)-Over 20% of the budget on an injury prone head case who has Jay Cutler throwing to him. I’d be hard pressed to come up with two bigger asshats than Cutler and Marshall. Congrats Bears fans, you’ll win 5 games for your trouble.

Sleeper pick-Montee Ball ($3)-While most people have Ball on their radar, I don’t think many project him as a top 10 fantasy running back. If he gets the majority of the carries, Ball will be one of the better running backs in the league. He proved during his time at Wisconsin that he has a nose for the end zone.

Draft grade-Von Urine waited longer than any other GM before dipping into the player pool. Whether or not that will be an effective strategy remains to be seen. On paper, the grouping of receivers/tight ends looks strong. The stable of running backs will also be effective as long as Ball steps up and Sproles continues to catch passes. What Cam Newton we’ll get this year is anyone’s guess. This roster, as it stands now, has a high floor but a low ceiling. C+

DRAFT REVIEW-STECK EXPRESS

The Who-Phoenix via Iowa, University of Iowa graduate. Recently severely outkicked his coverage in marriage, master of all things real estate, weekend hack on the golf course.

Best Value-Robert Griffin III ($10)-Compared to what some of the other QBs went for, this is a low, low price for a quarterback who finished in the top 3 last year. The only concern here is Griffin’s knee appears wonkier than a Dan Fletcher ankle.

Worst Value-Marshawn Lynch ($49)-This is when we remember that the Steck Express is an annual donor in all the fantasy leagues he plays in. Spending ¼ of your budget on an aging back is the type of behavior that lands this GM in the consolation bracket time and time again. It should be noted however that Lynch will always hold a special place in my heart for this classic postgame drive:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iChgCGa0ikg

Sleeper pick-Rashard Mendenhall ($6)-Getting a starting NFL running back and one who has had a top 10 season for six bucks is worth the gamble that he’ll stay healthy and that the Cardinals putrid offensive line will block for him.

Draft grade-As far as drafts go, this is one of the best this general manager has ever had. That is however like saying Vanderbilt is going to have a good football season…….the bar is not real high. The draft does look solid however one must wonder if the fantasy football gods will punish the Steck Express for his actions during the auction regarding Calvin Johnson. Deliberately outbidding a fellow GM, no matter the price to deprive him of Black Jesus is something that will not soon be forgotten. B+

DRAFT REVIEW-EL CAPITAN

The Who-Iowa born, now spends his Sundays in Kansas City via Phoenix. Northern Iowa graduate, former owner of an automobile titled “cherry popper, panty dropper,” new daddy, once suffered a 3 inch facial cut after a particularly awful Jets play.

Best value pick-Eli Manning ($1). El Capitan blew his proverbial load early and was left scrambling for a QB. Manning isn’t a bad option for a buck. Fully expect the Capitan to blow the majority of his waiver budget on Geno Smith come week 4.

Worst value pick-Jimmy Graham ($38)-Owning the top tight end is like bringing home the skinniest chick at a defensive tackle convention. Sure it’s nice to have but not something you’ll ever be proud of. Tight end is too deep to spend 19% of your budget on this position.

Sleeper pick-Josh Gordon ($1)- The Cleveland Browns offense appears to actually be competent this year and Gordon will be their primary deep threat. Le’Veon Bell at $2 also appears to be an excellent buy after news has come out that he will not require surgery.

Draft Grade-El Capitan went all in on running backs which is a risky maneuver in a PPR, 3 WR league. After Randall Cobb, several $1 wide receivers will need to step up if this general manager hopes to contend for the league title. Perhaps most disgusting of all is this die-hard Jets fan owning the New England defense. That alone drops his draft review nearly a full letter grade. C-

SUNDAY COLLEGE FOOTBALL

A wild Saturday ends up at 7-5, leaving Mr. Thursday Night off to a sparkling 12-7 start on the new season. Today we've got a pair of games on the slate including a match-up between two excellent signal callers. Teddy Bridgewater leads Louisville and their sky high expectations this fall into their season opener against Ohio and Tyler Tettetlon. In game two, we are also taking the dog. Colorado and Colorado State appear to be equally putrid this year so when in doubt, take the points. Be sure to check back again tomorrow as we've got yet another college game to handicap, Florida State at Pittsburgh.

OHIO +21.5 AT LOUISVILLE
COLORADO +3 VS COLORADO STATE