DRAFT REVIEW-EL CAPITAN

The Who-Iowa born, now spends his Sundays in Kansas City via Phoenix. Northern Iowa graduate, former owner of an automobile titled “cherry popper, panty dropper,” new daddy, once suffered a 3 inch facial cut after a particularly awful Jets play.

Best value pick-Eli Manning ($1). El Capitan blew his proverbial load early and was left scrambling for a QB. Manning isn’t a bad option for a buck. Fully expect the Capitan to blow the majority of his waiver budget on Geno Smith come week 4.

Worst value pick-Jimmy Graham ($38)-Owning the top tight end is like bringing home the skinniest chick at a defensive tackle convention. Sure it’s nice to have but not something you’ll ever be proud of. Tight end is too deep to spend 19% of your budget on this position.

Sleeper pick-Josh Gordon ($1)- The Cleveland Browns offense appears to actually be competent this year and Gordon will be their primary deep threat. Le’Veon Bell at $2 also appears to be an excellent buy after news has come out that he will not require surgery.

Draft Grade-El Capitan went all in on running backs which is a risky maneuver in a PPR, 3 WR league. After Randall Cobb, several $1 wide receivers will need to step up if this general manager hopes to contend for the league title. Perhaps most disgusting of all is this die-hard Jets fan owning the New England defense. That alone drops his draft review nearly a full letter grade. C-