THE KING

COACH K-3/31

NCAA
3* SDSU/Baylor under 135.5
2* SDSU +2, Old Dominion +2

NBA
5* Jazz +6
2* Bobcats/Lakers under 192
1* Jazz ML +215

ON THE CLOCK-NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

Mr. Thursday Night

With the 23rd pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, the New England Patriots select……………

Everyone's favorite team had another excellent 2008 season despite missing the playoffs and losing their franchise QB in week 1. Matt Cassel led the Pats to a fine 11-5 record that wasn't quite good enough for the playoffs in the tough AFC.

Last season the Pats had the 10th overall pick via trade and selected Jerod Mayo, LB Tennessee. Mayo did make an impact in New England recording 128 tackles as a rookie. With Mike Vrabel now gone, expect Mayo to explode further in 09. Other than Mayo, I would call the 08 Pats draft class their worst since Bill Belichek took over.

This season the Pats have 4 of the top 58 picks so they will be able to fill many holes. At some point they might take a QB now that Cassel is gone but in the first round I'd look for them to go with another LB or a CB. When you are as good as New England is, you often have very few problem areas so if someone falls to your slot that you really like, it is ok to go ahead and take the best player avaliable regardless of position. I think here the pick is Vontae Davis, CB Illinois.

With the 22nd pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings are on the clock...........

ON THE CLOCK-ATLANTA FALCONS

Dr. Donovan

With the 24th pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, the Atlanta Falcons select……………

The Atlanta Falcons were the clear-cut off-season winners of 2008. Not only did they get their future QB and the 2008 Rookie of the Year, Matt Ryan, they also acquired RB Michael “The Burner” Turner and immediately changed their offense. The Falcons made it to the playoffs and were bounced out early by the Arizona Cardinals but they were still one of the Cinderella stories of the year.

The Falcons have a couple of spots they really need to address in this draft. On the whole the Falcons should focus on the defensive side of the ball. After losing a couple key LBs, they could use their 1st round pick in this areas. I see the Falcons looking at a couple of guys. LB Aaron Maybin from Penn State has seen his stock rise and fall in the last couple of months. Some think he is a top 15 pick but I’m not quite sold that he has done enough to deserve that. I see him falling to the Falcons and if that happens they could get a guy that could be plugged into LB right away. Michael Johnson from Georgia Tech is another LB/DE that the Falcons could fall in love with.

Although I think he will be gone in the top 15 picks, TE Brandon Pettigrew from Okl. St. would be a perfect fit for the Falcons if he drops to them. Offensively they would be set and could focus the rest of the draft on defense and the center position. C Max Unger from Oregon is also a guy that interests me for the Falcons.

With the 23th pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, the New England Patriots select……………

COACH K-3/28

NCAA
4* Pitt +3.5 and UConn/Mizz Under 156.5 (5.5pt teaser)
3* Pitt -2
2* UConn/Mizz under 151, UConn -5 (buy half)
1* Nova/Pitt over 141

Mixed Teaser
2* UConn pk/Jazz -3.5 (5.5pt teaser)

COACK K-3/27

NCAA
2* Michigan St -1, Louisville -9, Gonzaga +8.5
1* Oklahoma pk

NBA
2* Bucks +12.5, TWolves/Cavs over 190
1* Mavs -4, Thunder +5.5, Bucks/Magic over 198, Raptors/Thunder over 201

BOXING
2* Chambers (-120)

MR. THURSDAY NIGHT-3/27

There are some terrific NCAA tournament games on the docket tonight, two of which I have no opinion on. UNC/Gonzaga seems like easy money with UNC-8. As Coach K pointed out to me early today, he is shocked the money is only 54% on UNC. The other game I have doubts about is Oklahoma -1 vs Syracuse. I think this will be a helluva ballgame that could go either way.

I suspect Louisville will win tonight however it'll be tight late. Arizona really hasn't beat anyone yet this tournament but they are talented enough to hang in there. Ultimately, L'ville's depth will win out as Buddinger, Wise and Hill for U of
A will have to play nearly 40 minutes at a high level. I also think Kansas is just too young and inconsistent to defeat a mentally tough MSU squad.

ARIZONA +9 VS LOUISVILLE

MICHIGAN ST. -1 VS KANSAS

FRIDAY AGAIN

FRIDAY

COACH K IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently stationed deep within a cave somewhere in the Rocky Mountains, Coach K is stuck with a huge snow storm currently impacting the Denver area. He did however send these locks in via morse code.

DUKE -2
PURDUE +7
TEASER: PITTSBURGH -1 AND MISSOURI +10

MEMPHIS/MISSOURI UNDER 143

BULLS -5.5

SLAPSHOT BOB-3/26

PHILIDELPHIA FLYERS (PUCKLINE -1 1/2 +140) VS ATLANTA THRASHERS

BONUS PICK: VILLANOVA +2 SUCK ON THAT MILK JUGS MUELLER!

THE MADNESS RESUMES-3/26

By Mr. Thursday Night

There are three games I like tonight. Keep in mind it is THURSDAY, which is of course the day yours truly has mastered aka owned for the better part of 8 years. I do not have an opinion on Pittsburgh -7 vs Xavier but do like the following:

UCONN -6.5 VS PURDUE

MISSOURI +4.5 VS MEMPHIS

VILLANOVA +2 VS DUKE

Lock these suckers up in your stainless steel, 6 inch wide safe and throw away the key. Also, I am not certain what the number is but anything over -5 and I'm taking the Blazers to romp the Suns tonight in Portland.

NFL or FLAG FOOTBALL LEAGUE?

By Dr. Donovan

The NFL has apparently decided to add another F to the leagues title over the last few years. The NFFL will stand for the National Flag-Football League after a host of rule changes keying on the safety of its players.

One of the rule changes prohibits the wedge on an onside kick. Ok so the players aren’t able to run full speed while the kick cover team sits and waits to be trampled. That’s fine and I can see that except for the rule was changed a couple years ago as teams were required to put at least 4 men on each side of the ball to prohibit 10 men from creating a wedge. What next? The NFL will see that onside kicks are impossible to recover for the kicking team and come up with another idea.

The rules I don’t agree with are some that have made the NFL one of the most exciting and physically brutal games to watch in the past 30 years. The “Hines Ward Rule” states that offensive players can’t deliver a blindside hit downfield on defenders. I admit some players take it to far but this is the only chance the offensive players get to lay out the defense after taking hits the whole game. Have you ever heard of, “head on a swivel”! Poor 300 lb defensive lineman and linebackers are getting pummeled out there. Aren’t we missing something? Use common sense if the player uses his helmet to lead or cheap shots a player while he’ in the air.

Another rule can be called the “Eric Smith” rule after the brutal hit from NY Jets S Eric Smith on Cardinals WR A. Boldin. With the new rule, a player cannot hit a defenseless receiver with anywhere in the head with his forearm or shoulder. It still includes helmet-to-helmet hits as well. I am not as heated about this rule as some of the others because I agree that anytime someone gets hit in the head, the player risks paralysis or major head trauma. Taking your head off should not be a player’s goal. Once again I think the league needs to make sure they are using common sense with this and not calling 15-yard penalties for a player accidentally “bumping” someone’s helmet. We can all distinguish from a dangerous hit and ones that can’t be prevented.

The last rule is the biggest bunch of BS I've heard from the league since Defensive players couldn’t hit QBs above the waist. Now the league is installing yet another rule for their little princess quarterback Tom Brady (see Tuck Rule). The “Tom Brady” rules states, “If a pass rusher, who is blocked into the quarterback’s legs or into the ground on the way to the quarterback, continues to run or drives forcefully into the player, he’ll draw a 15-yard un-sportsmanlike-conduct penalty and be subject to a fine”. Hmmm….another rule to protect the league’s darlings. I admit that some things must be put in place for QB safety to prevent cheap shots, blindsides and broken vaginas but this rule was ONLY put in place because Mrs. Brady went down with an injury in week 1 last year on a FLUKE play. No one, including Pats coach Bill Bela-cheat, was considering this hit on his Bette Midler loving QB to be dirty or intentional. Now we are all going to see offensive lineman push Des in the back if they get beat on a blocking scheme to hopefully throw him into the QB and gain a 15 yd. personal foul. Like we don’t see enough holding calls already, we are probably going to up the penalty stats next year as well.

Instead of turning the league into powder puff and stealing some of the league's flavor, lets install some of these brilliant rules to go along with the new ones.

1. Every player must bring a baked good before each game to share with an opposing team member. Snicker-doodles and cupcakes are preferred.

2. For all nationally televised games, team uniforms will be tighter around the mid-riff area to define a players twigs and berries.

3. Defensive players must hop on one foot and put both hands behind their back when attempting a tackle. (and must hop back and forth in a diagonal line)

4. Instead of sudden-death overtime, each team will have a skip-off. The team that looks more graceful will be declared the winner.

5. Finally, all coaches and players from each team, along with referees, will share one shower after the game and indulge in a harmless game of “pick it up!”.

C’mon guys, players like Dick Butkus and Ronnie Lott are called “Grid-Iron Men” for a reason

ON THE CLOCK-MIAMI DOLPHINS

Dr. Donovan

With the 25th pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, the Miami Dolphins select……………

The Miami Dolphins were one of the toasts of the NFL last year going from worst to first after installing a successful college offensive strategy for their own and acquring former NY Jets QB Chad Pennington. The Wildcat offense, run by RB Ronnie Brown and a host of others, took form when they slaughtered the New England Patriots in week 3. The Dolphins have had a successful off-seaon thus far resigning OT Vernon Carey, LB Channing Crowder and SS Yeremiah Bell. They also picked up former Arizona Cardinal CB Eric Green.

The Dolphins could still use some help on the defensive side of the ball. You may see Miami go after another CB by drafting CB Darius Butler from Uconn, who is steadily rising up the draft boards or CB DJ Moore from Vandy. You could also see them go after a DE and draft DE Robert Ayers from Tennessee. I like the Dolphins to take a strong look at DE Larry English from Northern Illinois or DE Paul Kruger from Utah. If they decide to go offensive, you may see WR Percy Harvin to help compliment Teddy Ginn. Harvin has been the fastest riser on the board after his pro-day and may not be there.

It was a miracle season for the Dolphins after acquiring QB Chad Pennington and the Wildcat offense but if you know one thing about the NFL, it doesn’t take teams long to catch up with new schemes. In fact, I will bet we see 2 or 3 other teams using this offense at some point in the season in 09. This year we will see if the Dolphins are pretenders or contenders. My vote: Pretenders!
With the 24th pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, the Atlanta Falcons select……………

UPDATE ON COACH K'S DISAPPEARANCE

Denver, CO

HC&P has learned from a source close to the investigation that the Colorado State Troopers have focused their case on Slapshot Bob regarding the disappearance of disgraced handicapper Coach K. According to our source, Slapshot Bob has becoming increasingly disgruntled lately and was having a difficult time accepting Coach K picking 64% winners. Apparently this issue dated back to a confrontation in 1996 when Coach K threw down a vicious 360 windmill dunk on Slapshot Bob's forehead on Coach K's backyard court in the Midwest. When attempted to be reached for comment, Slapshot Bob shouted "Obama" and quickly hung up the phone. Meanwhile, the search continues. Yesterday an uncomfirmed report surfaced that Coach K was spotted in Colorado Springs and was taking notes at a Division III baseball practice apparently to prepare for an upcoming wager. Stay tuned to HC&P for breaking news on this developing situation.

SLAPSHOT BOB-3/24

Both of these teams are in a race for the playoffs in the tight Western Conference. According to Slapshot Bob, the Blues will ride hot goaltender Chris Mason to victory tonight in St. Louis.

ST LOUIS BLUES (PUCKLINE -1 1/2, +170) VS LOS ANGELES KINGS

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNERS

By: Cooby L

Well folks, its about that time of the year for Cooby L. to jump back on board of the gambling train. After an 8 year hiatus, I have observed the first 2 rounds and am ready to pass my knowledge onto you amateurs. Here's what I got for Thursday:

Arizona v Louisville (Louisville -9) - Arizona is cute. Barely make the tourney, plays a rotten Utah team only to follow that up with an even worse Cleveland St team. You morons may look at this team as an "underacheiving" team but I am here to tell you not to fall into that trap this weekend. Louisville has looked average at best so far and their best is yet to come. 9 is a lot of points in a Sweet 16 game but this is a no brainer. Don't fall into the Wildcat trap. Louisville by 16.

Syracuse v Oklahoma (Oklahoma -1) - The most intriguing match up on Thursday, I see this as a battle to the end. Can Syracuse stop B Grif? Absolutely not. But outside of him and Willie Warren, Oklahoma has nowhere else to turn. Warren is a cold blooded Freshman and I don't think the pressure will get to him but Oklahoma just does not have enough talent. Syracuse will rely on Deven-hood, Rautins' 3's and one of the best point guards in the nation, Jonny Flynn to help them eke out an 82-78 victory.

Kansas v Michigan St (Michigan St -2) - Another very interesting match up in my opinion. The biggest question here is will Kansas lack of experience cost them in the end? My prediction is no. Michigan St has shown this year that they have the talent to reach the Final 4 but they are far too inconsistent. Kansas is playing some of the best ball in the nation. Michigan St will have no answer for Aldrich or Collins. The game will be close until MSU goes on a scoring drought midway through the 2nd half. Kansas wins by 8.

Gonzaga v UNC (UNC -8 1/2) - UNC is the biggest lock of the day. With Lawson getting healthier by the minute, the Zags stand no chance. There is far too much talent on this UNC team. Also, Psycho T is not going to end his career against a team like Gonzaga. Expect 27 points, 13 rebounds, 38 pulling down of his shorts, and 10 shots from his hip that makes you want to vomit. So there it is folks. Take it as you please.

COACH K MISSING

Denver, CO

A state-wide man hunt is currently underway in an attempt to locate disgraced HC&P gamer Coach K after his first ever 10* selection (Gonzaga) crashed and burned unlike any other. Possible locations for Coach K vary widely however we have one unconfirmed report that he was seen at the Light Hitting Lounge in Pueblo, CO. Authorities have already checked in on all the gambling rehab sites in Colorado and at this point believe Coach K is on the loose making ill-advised wagers somewhere in the Rocky Mountains. If you see Coach K, please call the local police. Do not approach. He is believed to be gay and extremely homo.

DR. DONOVAN'S ELITE 25

1. Michael Crabtree- WR Texas Tech
2. Eugene Monroe- OT- Virginia
3. Matt Stafford- QB Georgia
4. Aaron Curry- LB Wake Forest
5. Brian Orakpo- DE Texas
6. Jason Smith- OT Baylor
7. Rey Maualuga-LB USC
8. Malcolm Jenkins- DB Ohio State
9. Knowshown Moreno- RB Georgia
10.Brandon Pettigrew TE- Oklahoma State
11.Jeremy Maclin- WR Missouri
12.Mark Sanchez- QB USC
13.BJ Raji- DT Boston College
14.Everette Brown- DE Florida State
15.Chris Wells- RB Ohio State
16.Brian Cushing- LB USC
17.Vontae Davis- Illinois
18.Michael Oher- OT Mississippi
19.Andre Smith- OT Alabama
20.Hakeem Nicks- WR North Carolina
21.James Laurinitis- LB Ohio State
22.Aaron Maybin- LB Penn State
23.Percy Harvin- WR Florida
24.Patrick Chung- S Oregon
25.Max Unger C- Oregon

ON THE CLOCK-BALTIMORE RAVENS

Dr. Donovan

With the 26th pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, the Baltimore Ravens select……………

The Ravens had a better than expected season last year. They plugged in a rookie QB with a makeshift wide receiving core and an aging defense and made it to the AFC Championship game. The Ravens made a ton of changes this off-season losing a few key members of their defense starting with the defensive coordinator and guru Rex Ryan. They also lost the mad-backer Bart Scott and veteran CB Chris McAllister who have both been a big part of their defensive success. The 2 biggest moves for the Ravens however came in the signings of their own players. They re-signed LB Ray Lewis, who looks to finish his career in purple and black, and they franchised LB Terrell Suggs to keep the core of the defense in tact.

The Ravens haven’t had a solid #1 receiver since they came into the league. The WR position is always an option especially now that QB Joe Flacco seems to be their guy for a number of years. Personally I don’t think this is a vital need for them in the 1st round especially how deep this year’s WR core is. I think the best option for the Ravens is a DE or a LB to fill Bart Scott's position. A young LB, to learn for a couple of years under one of the decade’s best linebackers and leaders, would be the best move for the team. Someone like James Laurinaitis or Aaron Maybin from Penn State would fit well with the Ravens game plan. If the Ravens decide to go with a defensive end, Michael Johnson from Georgia Tech is an athletic specimen and reminds me a lot of Jason Taylor. WR Percy Harvin from Florida is moving up the draft board after his pro day and the Ravens might not be able to resist if the Dolphins pass him by and he’s still there at pick 26.

With the 25th pick in the 2009 NFL Draft, the Miami Dolphins select……………