FANTASY DRAFT REVIEW

2009 DRAFT REVIEW

SCOTTSDALE HAWKEYES-
BEST PICK: Adrian Peterson. Hard to fuck that one up. Did not over-think it, took the former Oklahomo Sooner.
WORST PICK: Chris “Beanie” Wells in round 6. He doesn’t start and is always hurt. Homer pick.
POTENTIAL STEAL: Lesean McCoy in round 10. He’s one Westbrook injury from being the man in Philly.
GRADE: B

BARNSTORMERS-
BEST PICK: Greg Olson. Despite being a blatant homosexual, Cutler loves his Tight Ends.
WORST PICK: Ronnie Brown. Round 2 was way too early for this one hit wonder.
POTENTIAL STEAL: Kurt Warner. Great value in round 5.
GRADE: C

SNOWDOGS-
BEST PICK: Tony Romo. Now that he is free of that whore Jessica Simpson, I expect big things .
WORST PICK: Anquan Boldin. The 2nd round was way too early for this injury risk.
POTENTIAL STEAL: Chris Henry (WR)in round 9. Big year coming for the convict.
GRADE: C+

CHICAGO BONECRUSHERS-
BEST PICK: Clinton Portis. Always over-looked, Portis will be a top 10 back.
WORST PICK: Wes Welker in round 5. He already had his career year and the Pats are deep at WR.
POTENTIAL STEAL: Reggie Bush in round 6. This is the year Bush lives up to the hype.
GRADE: B

ANGIE’S TIGHT ENDS-
BEST PICK: Aaron Rogers. The bearded bastard is ready to break out of Favre’s shadow.
WORST PICK: Larry Fitzgerald, pick #5 overall. Desperation is a stinky cologne.
POTENTIAL STEAL: Cedric Benson, round 6. Put up good numbers at the end of last season.
GRADE: B+

STECK EXPRESS-
BEST PICK: Dwayne Bowe. Todd Haley’s passing offense will suite Bowe very well.
WORST PICK: Peyton Manning, round 3. Manning is no longer an elite QB. A QB with similar stats could have been found 5 rounds later. Rookie mistake by a non-rookie GM.
POTENTIAL STEAL: Donald Brown, round 7. Addai will get hurt and Brown steps into one of the game’s best offenses.
GRADE: B-

GO DEEP OR GO HOME-
BEST PICK: Steve Slaton. Monster season upcoming for the former Mountaineer.
WORST PICK: Marques Colston, round 3. The oft-injured Colston was a reach midway through the 3rd round.
POTENTIAL STEAL: Josh Morgan, round 11. No Crabtree means lots of targets for Morgan.
GRADE: B

AFRICAM-
BEST PICK: Felix Jones, round 6. Once Barber goes down, Jones will be an elite RB.
WORST PICK: Many to choose from here, we’ll go with Steve Smith in round 2. It’s the end of the road for this punk midget.
POTENTIAL STEAL: DeAngelo Williams, round 2. I am not high on Williams but he was going in the top 5 in many drafts. Good value in round 2.
GRADE: C

TEAM DTI-
BEST PICK: DeSean Jackson, round 5. Jackson may very well score a TD passing, running and receiving this fall.
WORST PICK: Again, several to chose from. Darren McFadden in round 3 is like eating a big ole shit burger. Was it those 499 yards rushing last year that impressed you DTI?
POTENTIAL STEAL: Rashard Mendenhall, round 9. Fast Willie Parker isn’t so fast anymore and Mendenhall has the talent to be a very good every down back.
GRADE: C

SCREAMIN’ SAVAGES-
BEST PICK: Drew Brees. The fact that his best pick was a QB in round 1 should give you an indication of what is to come.
WORST PICK: It seems as though these guys near the bottom of the draft were binge drinking because once again we have several possible selections here. Thomas Jones in round 3 is going to hurt because by week 4 he’ll be 3rd on the Jets RB depth chart and likely inactive.
POTENTIAL STEAL: Larry Johnson, round 4. The former top tier pick had a nice preseason and is still young enough to run well.
GRADE: C-

BEARNASTY-
BEST PICK: Braylon Edwards, round 6. My how the former Wolverine has fallen. If he learns how to catch the football again he should do well.
WORST PICK: Pierre Thomas, round 3; Tim Hightower round 4 (holy shit!); Vishanthe Shiancoe, round 5 (holy fuck!). What the hell were you smoking during this portion of the draft?
POTENTIAL STEAL: Darren Sproles, round 7. Even if LT stays healthy, Sproles will get plenty of action.
GRADE: C-

DTI WWC-
BEST PICK: Matt Ryan. Tony Gonzalez gives him yet another threat down the field.
WORST PICK: Vincent Jackson, round 3. Blatant homer pick.
POTENTIAL STEAL: Jerricho Cotchery, Round 8. Somebody has to catch the passes in New York, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be Chauncey Stuckey. Cotch is now the #1.
GRADE: C+